Under the wire?

Hello again,

Quick update :

Ebay sales progressing
Another report published this month
Another 2 and a half pounds off - yeah, that could be better...

Anyway...on with the motley

The greatest lesson Jesus ever taught was "always have a plan B"

Spent a great proportion of last weekend watching the superlative "North Square" on Teleport Replay or whatever Virgin call it now. Having not seen it (in common with nigh on everyone else) since it's only transmission on Channel 4 in late 2000, I was gratified to find that it really was a brilliantly written, directed and performed TV series.
Centred around a newly formed barrister's chambers in Leeds, the show highlighted the acting talents of Helen McCrory, Kevin McKidd and Rupert Penry-Jones as young barristers and Phil Davis in never-bettered form as Head Clerk Peter McLeish, a Machiavellian mixture of Del Boy, Arthur Daley, Gordon Gecko and Michael Corleone. Given another series and a bit of softening of the character, he could have been a TV archetype to rival Bet Lynch, Yosser Hughes or Victor Meldrew. He wades in the muck of Leeds' criminal underbelly to keep his barristers in business and spinning schemes on a sixpence to keep them from harm, and coming out with one liners like this piece's headline to endear himself to the viewer and his junior clerks, Johnny Boy and "Bob". Superb.
Alas, it was not to be, but any fans of 21st century television drama should seek it out (it seems to have disappeared from the listings now, sadly). Now, Virgin, any chance of "Trust"?

Major Tom's a cheeky monkey!

Also taking up some time in the brain recently has been Bryan Ferry's new LP, "Dylanesque".

Yes, another album of cover versions from suave legend Byron Ferrari, but only because the Roxy Music reunion record has been progressing slowly and it is for the most part a cracker.

Bryn Fury is a past master of the cover version, of course, offering a radical re-working of "A Hard Rain's A Gonna Fall" as his first solo single, and turning his hand to standards and rock and roll classics with aplomb in his time.

The LP opens with two typical "Ferry Does Dylan" tracks, "Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues" and "Simple Twist Of Fate" in the "stomp-stomp" style of his earlier "Hard Rain" and "It's All Over Now, Baby Blue" from his last collection, "Frantic". There are a couple of embarrasing moments "The Times They Are A-Changing" is a period piece and resurrecting it seems a bit nonsensical, and "To Make You Feel My Love" disappointly retreads the Dylan original and Billy Joel's version. However, the already magnificent "Postively 4th Street" is brilliantly handled, substituting Dylan's biting dismissal with resigned melancholy over a lover determined not to learn the lessons the singer had been trying to teach. The closing instrumental minute is worth the price of admission alone.

And so, to cover versions in general....one rule and one rule only, they need to be different. They need to add something to the song that the original didn't highlight. Hence my top 5 cover versions (most of whose originals are excellent too):

5. Comfortably Numb - Scissor Sisters. Weld the Pink Floyd original to a Disco beat and a Bee Gees delivery, revelatory.

4. You're Beautiful - Fred MacAulay. From the recent "Comic Relief does Fame Academy" (don't dwell on the awful title). Now this was an annoying song when sung by the wettest trained killer ever to grace the charts. There was no emotion. Fred nailed it. He saw her face in a crowded place and....he didn't know what to do (blub!).

3. Mr Tambourine Man - The Byrds. The greatest intro to any record ever? Pure sunshine in a bottle!

2. Always On My Mind - Pet Shop Boys. The inability to express regret makes the expression of it even more poignant. Best experienced in the video version from the film "It Couldn't Happen Here" with Joss Ackland. "I smell youth, vintage youth."

1. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Cocker. About as far from the "identikit" cover version as you can get. Ringo's singalongaPepper transformed into a behemoth of heavy pop, so wrought you could build Victorian gates out of it!

How can a light that burned so brightly, suddenly burn so pale?

Some of those "identikit cover versions" were mentioned in BBC3s "Top 100 Most Annoying Pop Songs". I actually rather enjoyed this programme, but oddly not for the reasons the makers intended.

It was striking how many of the entries began with a talking head saying "That's a great record.", usually shortly after I had said the same thing, or words to the same effect. I believe of the 50 pop songs listed last night I had at least 45 on my iPod.

My musical taste can, at times be questionable (but those questions can be proudly answered in most cases) but the issue was with the title and premise of the programme. The list from 100 - 50 included "Move On Up" by M People, "Holding Back The Years" by Simply Red, "JCB" by Nizlopi, "Bright Eyes" by Art Garfunkel, "Hello" by Lionel Richie and "Don't Cha" by the Pussycat Dolls. The list was not, in fact, the most annoying pop songs, but the most catchy and fleetingly ubiquitous pop songs. Catchiness and fleeting ubiquity are the very apotheosis of the pop record, and should be celebrated, not denigrated. Yes, not every time and place befits an airing of "Money For Nothing", but in small doses when the time is right, nothing else can hit the spot like the Knopf' banging out those power chords.

Most of the records had been hugely popular in their time, and this can definitely be a curse, but can lead to a strange phenomenon. "Bright Eyes" was huge hit before my time (only slightly, but the point stands) and it became a by-word for naff pop, meaning it was very rarely heard. Once I did hear it properly (and shorn of associated animated rabbits) it is a cracking tune with touching lyrics sung well by a distinctive, interesting voice. In short, it is a pop masterpiece.

In the programme's defence, one of the talking heads was from Toploader, a band who I could never stand, with especial reference to their mega hit "Dancing in the Moonlight", because it was just weedy and pointlessly commercial. Being twinned with Jamie Oliver in a Sainsbury's ad didn't do it any favours either! I'll cheer when that one pops up on the list. And also they showed a clip of Don MacLean, Peter Glaze and Jan Hunt doing a typically barmy "Bohemian Rhapsody" on Crackerjack.

Crackerjack!